How to Flirt with a Guy

Flirting is friendly, light-hearted fun, and a compliment to one another. Although often a courting ritual, it does not have to be sexual and abounds in business too.

Decide beforehand what you want. Are you flirting with this person for fun, or are you flirting with intent? In other words, do you see this as a fleeting encounter or would you like it to be the start of something more serious?

Sometimes guys misinterpret being friendly with being sexually interested in them. Be aware of this and take care to not mislead.

Anyone can flirt successfully, regardless of your age and looks. If you feel shy or uncomfortable, especially with cute guys, these tips show you how. Try out those which feel comfortable and adapt or ignore those which do not.

Start by making the most of your appearance. It might be shallow, but men are visual creatures, strongly affected by what they see. Do not go overboard by wearing skimpy clothes. If you want to show some skin, expose legs OR boobs, not both. Make sure you and your hair are clean, you smell good, wear light makeup and clothes which flatter your body shape. When you look good, you feel confident and exude positive energy.

Flirting is mostly about attitude. Carrying yourself well with a straight back, relaxed shoulders and tummy pulled in, projects confidence and enhances your appearance by making you look taller and slimmer.

Use body language to seem approachable. If you like someone, face him, sit or stand upright without being stiff, uncross your arms, make lots of eye contact and smile often. A smile showing your teeth and a relaxed face is the simplest way of telling someone you like them.

If you catch someone checking you out from across the room, instead of instinctively glancing away, return his gaze and smile. Lingering eye contact has an amazing effect. A word of caution though; overdo it and you come across as creepy. Hold his gaze for a second or two, turn away with a hint of a smile, then lock eyes again.

When two strangers talk, they stand three or four feet apart with their bodies angled slightly away from each other. When chatting to someone whose company you enjoy, stand a little closer and face him square on. When seated, cross your legs so your knees point towards him, gently swing your foot back and forth in his direction and if your shoes lend themselves to dangling slightly, do so with your swinging foot.

Expose the palms of your hand and inner wrist to him.

Wink at him. Tease him playfully. Even if things are not quite perfect, relax, laugh and have fun. That in itself is seductive.

Get him fired up by challenging him to a competitive something — maybe a game of squash, a bet or anything involving one-on-one activity.

If he is with his friends, chat with them too so he sees you as desirable, but flirt only with him.

Play with your hair while you talk to him. Depending on the style and how long your hair is, run your hands through it, twirl it or tuck it behind your ears.

When chatting with a guy you really like, give him a thrill by glancing at his lips and then the base of his neck before making eye contact again.

If you get the feeling he may be attracted to you, touch him quickly and lightly. It creates intimacy and is easier for the woman to initiate early in the relationship. But do it naturally, for example, brush imaginary fluff off his shoulder, straighten his tie, let your shoulders touch as you both look at something or ride in the elevator, lean forward and casually touch his hand or arm while you chat and laugh, or jokingly shove him.

Be sweet, kind, friendly and positive and do not gossip, whine, continually complain, act tough, be pushy or bitchy. If you feel shy, do not hide it. Guys sometimes like vulnerable.

Having said that, portraying an image of someone you are not, will backfire dismally. Be proud of who you are but if you are pushy, for example, you might want to play it down a tad.

Guys love talking about themselves and find girls interested in them attractive. Ask open-ended questions, listen well, get him to talk about himself by saying, “Gosh, I did not know that,” or something similar which fits your personality and without degrading yourself by acting like an unintelligent bimbo.

Making other people feel important and interesting is key to all human relationships. To some extent everyone is inwardly insecure and you naturally gravitate toward those who take an interest in you.

Intersperse your conversation with snippets of what you think or something about yourself. But refrain from droning on about yourself; it is a huge turnoff. Neither should you share too much too soon.

Pause often to encourage him to speak. Think of conversation as a game of ping-pong where you each take turns hitting the ball. It also gives you a chance to gauge how things are going.

When you talk, speed up or slow down your speech to match his. Radiate charisma by talking confidently and enthusiastically about something he finds interesting or about an experience you shared. Entertaining humor, smiling and laughter is always welcome.

Compliment him without gushing. Be sincere and specific, for example, “I like your shirt, the blue shows off your eyes.” The fact you noticed is flattering to him, without you coming across as needy or desperate.

Accept his compliments gracefully, “Thank you, I like this dress too.”

Remember things he mentions and ask about them later. For example, if he told you about a presentation he has to give, when next you see him, ask him, “How did your presentation go?”

Although guys say they do not like games, they respond to them. Sometimes be unavailable and only return his call the next day. Let him wonder what you were doing. Men are hard-wired to hunt and if he has to chase you down, somehow you seem more valuable and he treats you better.

If you want to step things up, use sexual innuendo in your conversation. Because this is powerful, be careful; you do not want to be called a tease or come across as slutty. Stroking your throat or the stem of a glass or playing with a chain that points down to your cleavage may be equally suggestive, but use your discretion.

Never let him do anything to you which makes you feel uncomfortable.

Constantly watch his reactions and look for clues. If at any time he looks around, angles his body away from you, starts shifting his feet, or seems disinterested in you, back off, politely excuse yourself and move on. There are loads of guys out there.

Practise flirting everywhere: at the gas station, the library, the supermarket, the mall, while waiting in line at Starbucks. Liven up your day by making eye contact and smiling briefly at strangers. Part of flirting is being a good conversationalist, and that skill helps you in every aspect of your life — with your family, friends, boss and potential men in your life.